if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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