Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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