How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
