It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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