Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
