Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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