she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
