idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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