No, you can still breathe under the balls.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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