nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
