i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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