the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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