im having a threesome with these popsicles
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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