Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
