I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
