he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
