She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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