I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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