what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
