He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
