This girl is more easily done than said...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
