Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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