You're earring is so big in my mouth
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
