...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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