Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
