It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
