yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
