He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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