no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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