Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i think i just lost a toe
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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