I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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