Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
