Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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