Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
