Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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