when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
