and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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