Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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