Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
