What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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