i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
