I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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