Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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