Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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