So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
