Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
