no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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