mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
