do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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