yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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