He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
