theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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