Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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