its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
